How to Take Your Kids to Church – Tips from a Mom of 4 Littles

If the thought of going to church with little people in tow makes you quiver, you’re not alone. There are so many moms out there who would just rather avoid church altogether because of the thought of littles being noisy during the service. Or who feel like it would be easier just to stay home and watch from the comfort of the couch. Figuring out how to take your kids to church – from getting out the door in the morning to sitting through the service to coming home without ruining nap time – can feel insurmountable. But – I will say – it’s a goal worth working toward, week after week after week.

May our children be put in the means of grace Lord’s Day after Lord’s Day, and may our efforts produce fruit that will last into eternity.

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When our first two were very little, we sometimes wondered if we would ever figure out how to get them to sit through the service. It seemed like one or both of us was constantly having to walk out, pace the hallway, miss the whole sermon. At that time, we didn’t really know whether or not we were doing the right thing or if our efforts would work.

And as young parents, it felt like a major loss to go from sitting through the entire sermon and taking notes every single week to sometimes not even knowing what the sermon text was.

Now that our kids are 5, 4, 2, and 1, we’ve already had a few years of begin able to see the fruit of teaching them to sit through church. And we typically retain a lot more than we used to!

It’s much easier now to work with our 1 and 2-year-olds, knowing that it will pay off! Most weeks now, my husband sits through the whole service with the big three and I sit through about half and then go stand out in the fellowship hall and hold the baby.

(Note: If you’re looking for more encouragement regarding why it’s so important for children to be in the worship service with adults as much as possible, I would recommend this short book by my pastor: Let The Children Worship – by Jason Helopoulos.

Tips for Helping Your Kids Sit Through Church

Here are 8 ways we’ve found helpful in training our kids to be able to sit through the worship service with us each week.

1. Set Expectations/Begin As You Mean to Go

You kids CAN sit through the service – even if it’s 1.5 hours! Set the expectation early that they will learn how. We have a leg up in our church, since there are dozens of other young children sitting through the service as well. We all know it can be done.

Kids are excellent at rising to expectations. I think it would be a lot harder with a “we’ll see how it goes” type of attitude. Expect them to do it. If it takes training, if it takes weeks or months or years, that’s okay. Be patient together and they will get it!

2. Practice at Home

If church is the only place kids are expected to sit quietly, it might be a little bit harder. You can practice at home by implementing things like family worship (even if it’s just 5-10 minutes), read-aloud time, and daily quiet time.

We find that if our kids can sit at home, it’s much easier to sit at church because there’s usually more to look at.

3. Reduce or Eliminate Screens

I’m just throwing this one out there because I think it probably has a role in helping kids sit. Our kids have never really had screens of any kind (other than the occasional family movie night), and I definitely believe this has played a role in helping them be imaginative and content.

While I don’t have personal experience, I’ve heard a LOT of stories about kids becoming much more content, calm, and just overall happier after they’ve made the switch to get away from screens (although it probably takes a few days to get over the hump).

4. Teach Whispering

This one actually made a big difference for us. I think our oldest daughter was at least 2 (maybe closer to 3?) before she caught on to the concept of whispering. Once she did, it was really helpful during church! I don’t think it’s totally reasonable to expect kids to not say ANYTHING during church, but being able to whisper allows them to ask for another crayon, a book, or say that they’re cold or need to go to the bathroom without being too interruptive.

Practice this before the service starts so kiddos know exactly what to do if they need something while the room is quiet.

5. Tell Them Why We’re at Church

It is an encouragement to them to know why we’re at church! We like to remind our kids on Sundays and during the week what a blessing it is that we get to attend church each week and why we go. We’re there because God commands His people to gather for worship! Because we get to hear God’s Word preached. Because we love God – He made us! And we’re quiet because it’s very important for both us and the people around us to be able to hear the pastor teaching us from God’s Word.

Knowing why we’re there makes it that much easier for them to sit and listen.

(Our kids have grasped onto answers to basic but very important questions by studying the Westminster Shorter Catechism using this book: From the Lips of Little Ones: A Study in the Catechism – by Jeff Kingswood.)

6. Remind Them Before Walking In

We all need reminders, and littles need a lot of them. Almost every week when we arrive at church but before getting out of the car, we ask these questions and our kids respond:

• “Where are we?” “At church!”
• “Why are we here?” “To worship God!” or “To hear God’s Word!”
• “What are we going to do?” “Quiet, no talking, obedient”

These little reminders help focus our kids on what they need to do and how to behave in the current situation, whether we’re heading into church, the grocery store, or Grandma’s house.

7. Help Them Understand What to Listen For

Our kids aren’t quite old enough to write down notes from the sermon, but just reminding them of a few things to listen for can be helpful. Reading and talking about the Bible a lot at home has also helped them, since they can grab on to stores and characters they know during the sermon.

8. Bring Quiet Activities

Our “church bag” has special books and activities that stay on the top shelf until church time every week. They’re allowed to pull something out to look at when we’re finished singing and the pastor starts preaching.

I shared more about what’s in our church bag and how we prep it in this blog post: What’s in Our Church Quiet Bag

What To Do With Babies During Church

Navigating an infant at church can be tricky! They’re not old enough to really listen or perhaps not even old enough to be entertained by toys and books. Here are a few tricks I’ve found helpful for having small babies at church.

• Ring sling. This is my absolute favorite tool for church (and many other parts of the week). It’s easy to pack in the diaper bag, easy to slip on, and my babies have all enjoyed it a lot. I try to sit through as much of the sermon as I can with the baby, and then if they get fussy, take them out to the fellowship hall where there are a few chairs set up and a screen for watching/listening to the service. (This would work just as well in a cry room or any space behind the sanctuary.) I have found that, for our babies, when they get fidgety, they actually need a little more structure, not less. Instead of letting them crawl around, I put them in the sling and sway with them. I do this from around 4 months to 18-24 months. They love it! They typically either fall asleep (until ~9 months) or just look around. (There are some weeks – particularly during evening services – when they just really need to get their energy out or haven’t napped and are having a harder time. During these weeks, I might let them crawl around a bit more if they need it.)
• Car seat cover. For newborns, a car seat cover can help make the transition from the car to the service, and babies often just stay asleep!
• Fabric baby wrap. From newborn to 4 months, I’ve found that a fabric wrap works well to help babies stay calm and fall asleep. It’s also a good method for keeping them close if you’re worried about germs around newborns.
• Baby toys. For babies ~6 months and up, a few simple toys can help keep them entertained for awhile if they’re awake during the service. Some of our babies’ favorites have been push pop toys, interactive books (this Slide and Find Trucks book has literally given us hours of quiet time at church), and clip on teether tools.
• Sit them in the corner of the pew. One other help I’ve found is to sit the baby in the corner of the pew, if possible, between me and the wooden armrest on the end. (This works after they can sit well, of course.) I think having that small space and one or two toys within it kind of helps to keep them focused and get less distracted by to much open area or by what the other person next to them is doing.

How We Make Sunday Mornings Easy (Tips for Getting Out the Door)

Pre-church can be hard, too, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Once you get a system down and everyone knows what they have to do, it becomes much easier! We typically start breakfast a little before 7 on Sundays and are out the door by 8:20. At this point, we’ve done it so many times, it’s honestly not a stressful morning.

A few systems that help us are:

• Easy breakfast. We usually have yogurt and granola. Filling, but not hard.
• Limited outfit choices. Each of our kids only has about 3 outfit choice for church. We don’t have to set outfits out the night before because everyone knows what they’re options are and all of their clothes match (for example, boys have 1 pair of pants and 3 shirts that all match their pants). Everyone has a pair of boots and a pair of sandals that match all their outfits.
• Diaper bag and church bag prep. The church bag doesn’t get touched during the week, so it doesn’t need much prep. Sometimes we add a few sheets of stickers or have to clear out some papers from last service. Then we make sure the diaper bag has a few diapers and the ring sling, and we’re good to go. This takes about 2 minutes total.

I wrote an entire blog post about 10 systems we use to prepare for Sundays here: Preparing for the Christian Sabbath

Avoiding After-Church Meltdowns

Get out the door. Make it to the service. Sit through the service. Wohoo!

Now we have to get home and hopefully get some rest during the afternoon!

Obviously, we don’t get to choose what time church is at, so sometimes it doesn’t fit all that well into the kids’ nap and eating schedules! That’s okay! There is nothing more worth interrupting our routine for than making it to church each week.

We have definitely had weeks of getting home from church and holding two crying babies while wondering how we’re going to get lunch on. We’ve also had lots of weeks of kids falling asleep in the car for 10 minutes and then refusing to nap the rest of the afternoon. Here are a few ways we’ve found make afternoons easier so that we can ALL get some rest and make it back to the evening service.

• Keep kids awake in the car! This is such a common problem I hear from so many friends! Depending on your drive (ours is about 25 minutes), it’s SO worth it to have one parent sit in the back seat and sing, dance, tickle – whatever it takes to keep those babies awake so they nap well after lunch!
• Have an easy lunch ready. We try to make a favorite dinner Saturday night so we have easy leftovers (that we’re also looking forward to) to quickly warm up when we get home.
• Try the early service. If your church has two services, you might consider trying to get out the door for the early service to leave more time for lunch.
• Help kids get their energy out. Between church and drive time, our Sundays require about 4-5 hours of sitting for the kids. Realistically, they can definitely do it, but they also have energy they need to get out! Spending some time with them outside or wrestling on the floor during the afternoon can help.
• Lower expectations. Even if the afternoon goes as well as it possibly can, we still have kids (what a blessing!). We’re not going to have 5 hours of uninterrupted time with the Lord every Sunday afternoon. Some days we’ll have more time than other. Some days they’ll nap well, and some days they might not. That’s okay! This was a hard switch for us going from 0 kids to 1 kid. Now we have better expectations and it’s easier to be okay with it when things don’t go as planned. Sometimes we also switch and one of us will spend time with the kids while the other goes in the bedroom to read or rest for awhile. Personally, I love getting up early so that even if I don’t have any time during the afternoon, I had some quiet time during the morning before everyone got up.

What Are Your Thoughts?

What is the hardest part about Sundays for your family?

I hope you are encouraged as we work together to take our kids to worship and give them the opportunity to hear the Word and fellowship with the saints week after week!

If you’re stuck, one more great idea would be to find a mom at your church who’s a little ahead of you and whose kids sit well and ask if you can pick her brain. She’d probably be honored to offer advice!