10 Ways to Create a More Peaceful Home (With Little Ones)
This morning my kids asked what we’re doing today. When I told them it was a “home day”, they all cheered. We certainly have many imperfect, chaotic moments in our days at home with four littles (all under 6), but how it delights my heart to know that my kids LOVE to be home. And how I love it, too!
Our daily routines of homeschooling, reading aloud, playing outside, working on crafts, cooking, cleaning, and just being together are truly a joy, and an opportunity that I definitely don’t take for granted. And though noisy dinners happen, 2-year-olds have potty-training accidents while the baby is crying, and glass bowls break while there’s still a pile of dishes to be washed (all of these happened this week), by far, there are more peaceful moments than not.
Jesus is the reason there is peace, and without Him no space can have true peace. In God’s wisdom and kindness, He gives us wisdom, mentors, and friends to help us cultivate peaceful homes! Here are 10 of the most effective ways we’ve found to create a more peaceful home with a 5, 4, 2, and 1 year old.
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10 Ways to Create a More Peaceful Home (With Little Ones)
1. Create good routines.
Routines in our days and weeks give everyone structure, make obedience easier (the kids know what’s coming next!), ensure we don’t miss the most important things (like Bible reading, chores, and healthy meals), and save so much brain space.
Here’s a peek into our daily routine in this season:
- 7:30am – Breakfast
- 8:00am – Bible reading and homeschooling
- 9:30am – Baby naps (the rest of us usually do a project together during this time like cooking, art, or something else that needs to be done or requires more focus)
- 10:30am – Outside time (everyone)
- 12:00pm- Lunch
- 1:00pm – Both littles nap/quiet time for bigs (they typically listen to stories and do crafts during this time, or might go outside depending on the weather)
- 3:30pm – Snack time and read aloud
- 4:00pm – Back outside (this is usually only the bigs since I’m starting dinner around this time)
- 5:30pm – Dinner
- 6:30pm – Playtime with dad and family worship
- 7:30pm – Bedtime!
Other weekly and monthly routines we prioritize are resting on Sundays, Friday night (at-home) date night, a monthly Costco trip, and Saturday chores, among others.
2. Implement systems.
The house won’t run itself, but systems get it a little closer! 😉 Some systems that make life so much easier for me are:
- Meal planning
- Daily (or almost daily) load of laundry
- Doubling meals for the freezer when possible/bulk cooking
- Regular cleaning routines
- Daily and weekly to-do lists
3. Ruthlessly declutter.
Less stuff means less to manage, and in my experience it also means happier kids! I have found that too many toys and clothes honestly just overwhelms them (and it definitely overwhelms me). If a room can’t be cleaned up in less than 5 minutes, it probably has too much stuff in it.
Keeping a donation box handy, having small toy bins, and using a toy rotation are a few systems that help us declutter and simplify. (Here are my top 10 decluttering tips for moms if you want to read more.)
4. Prioritize sleep schedules.
Good sleep makes happy kids and happy parents! We have never had to deal too much with kids fighting sleep, and while I’m sure there are multiple factors, I do credit a lot of it to good sleep schedules! Sleep begets sleep, so when babies/kids are getting good naps and nighttime sleep, it makes the next nap/bedtime easier too. Overtired babies are tough (we’ve definitely had that in difficult seasons/days, too).
We have found BabyWise to be THE single most helpful resource when it comes to baby/child sleep. Babywisemom.com is another invaluable resource on sleep and other topics.
5. More outside time. More books.
In basically every difficult season we’ve ever had, this has been the answer.
Bored kids? More outside time. More books.
Arguing siblings? More outside time. More books.
Sickness? More outside time. More books.
Feeling stuck in a rut as a mom? More outside time. More books.
Routine just seems off? More outside time. More books.
Feed their imaginations. Don’t let them watch tv. Read them books. Take them or send them outside.
Sometimes it takes me longer than it should to realize that this is what we need. But honestly I think it would be very hard to have too much of either of these things!
6. Have boundaries as a mom.
This may be a tough one to hear, but sometimes it needs to be said. If your kids are driving you nuts, it’s probably your fault. I’m regularly convicted of this!
Don’t let your kids embitter you because you haven’t set boundaries (or haven’t disciplined them).
If you hate playing make believe, don’t play it all day, especially if there are siblings to play with. If you always say yes when your kids ask, you have no right to become bitter or dread playing with them. How should they know you don’t like it!
Another boundary we have is that our kids are not allowed to come out of their rooms before 7am (except to go to the bathroom, of course). This allows me to get a head start on the day and spend some quiet time with the Lord before they get up. It is a boundary that benefits the whole family!
7. Be consistent.
Kids need consistency, and consistency begets obedience. Be patient, be loving, be consistent!
I’ve recently seen an example of this in our outside routine! The best time for us to all go out together is right after the baby’s morning nap, and at first he was NOT a fan of this (crying and throwing himself into a 12-month-old tantrum when I got his coat on, etc.). Now, a few weeks into this winter routine, he sticks his hands out, ready for his little mittens, and bounces with excitement as I zip him up. Consistency makes life easier!
Snacks is another one! Kids who are allowed to snack all morning are going to have a really hard time being told no when they want yet another snack. But if there’s consistently only one set snack time during the day, they’ll have a much easier time understanding that they can’t just graze all afternoon. (We’ve for sure seen the fruit of this one!)
Consistent sleep times, knowing what’s expected of them when getting out the door, cleaning/chore times, etc. make happier kids who know what’s coming and understand what they need to do. If every day is different and kids don’t really know what they’re going to or not going to be allowed to do from day to day, they’re going to have a much harder time obeying (wouldn’t you?).
8. Let them figure it out.
I’m often reminded that we’re raising kids to be responsible, capable adults. This is one of the benefits of having more kids – they have to figure it out!
It brings a lot of peace to our home to not have to jump at every single need the kids have, and the benefit is that they’ve become SO much more capable.
Of course, we have to give them the tools to succeed and know that they CAN figure it out, whether it comes to sibling arguments, filling a water bottle, getting dressed, or completing an independent portion of their schoolwork. But once they know how to do these things, we don’t have to run across the house every single time they call.
I often tell my kids when they ask for help, “I have three more dishes to wash! You give it a try, and if you still need help in a minute, come to me and I’m happy to help.” 75% of the time, they figure it out! And they know that if they do really need help, they can always come get it.
And honestly, the dishes would NEVER be done (nor dinner made, the laundry folded, or the baby changed) if I ran every single time they called! I don’t think they would really know how to do anything, either. 😉
9. Have goals (for yourself and for them).
All of us need something to work toward, something to learn, a challenge to overcome.
For me, it’s things like learning new recipes, managing the house more efficiently, reading new books, having writing goals, improving in hospitality, and learning new skills.
Some recent goals for our kids have been crocheting and sewing projects, learning to read, adding to their abilities in the kitchen, etc.
10. Prioritize your relationship with the Lord.
Philippians 4:7-8 – But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
“…do not forget that children learn more by the eye than they do by the ear… Be an example in words, in temper, in diligence, in temperance, in faith, in charity, in kindness, in humility. Do not think your children will practice what they do not see you do.” -J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents (One of my very favorite books on Biblical parenting)
God’s Word must be in us if we’re going to have peace. Prioritize knowing it and spending time in prayer above all other duties as a mother. ❤️
