9 Ways to Help Your Husband in His Mission Every Day

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As women, we are created to be helpers to our husbands and to assist them in their missions. Sometimes it can be difficult to know how this practically works out. While it varies by situation, of course, I started thinking about this and decided to jot down 9 ways to help your husband in his mission every day that apply to nearly everyone. I hope it’s helpful!

how to help your husband in his mission every day — Photo by andihemingerphoto.com

Unpopular opinions alert.

The woman was made to help the man.

Men and women are created equal, but different.

Wives are called to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24). (But husbands are called to love their wives like Christ loved the church…)

A husband and wife are a team.

Genesis 2:8 – Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Eve wasn’t just created as an afterthought, or as simply a friend for Adam. She was made to partner with him in the creation mandate to be fruitful and multiply and subdue the earth (Genesis 1:28). This could not (cannot) be done without her.

The creation mandate is still in effect.

What is your family’s mission?

As families (whether you currently have children or not), we are called to be good stewards of the resources at our disposal for the glory of God.

In order to do this, families need direction. The husband is called to lead, and the wife to help.

I started thinking about how this plays out practically. I think it can be easy for wives to hear “be a helpmeet to your husband”, but not actually know quite what that looks like. So I collected a few practical ideas here.

On being a helpmeet

If this concept is new, foreign, or seems downright wrong to you, here are just a few thoughts.

First of all, I’m writing this from a Biblical perspective. If we’re not on the same page there, you might find some of these tips helpful, but perhaps we don’t agree on the basis for them. Still, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on these, so feel free to comment!

Secondly, I have been thinking so much lately about what a gift it is to be a wife, mother, and helpmeet. I get to spend all of my energy helping my husband, who I love more than anyone in the world and who loves me the same, rather than a boss who could fire me tomorrow. I get to spend my days furthering HIS mission (which directly affects me and my children) rather than building someone else’s business (which, aside earning an income, probably won’t affect my future at all).

There’s so much more I could say about this, but honestly, what’s the downside here…?

Anyway, here are 9 ways that you (as a wife) can help your husband in his mission every day.

9 Ways to Help Your Husband in His Mission Every Day

1. Know his mission.

What are the primary focuses of your family? What are your husband’s goals? These could be career-oriented, ministry-oriented, personal goals, family goals, etc. What is your family about?

If you’re not sure, sit down with your husband and talk about your family’s purpose.

2. Know his long- and short-term goals.

Part of knowing your husband and family’s mission is knowing his long- and short-term goals. What are you hoping to accomplish as a family?

Once you have long-term goals (such as 1-year, 5-year, and 10-year goals) in place, you can break them down into shorter goals.

Ask your husband in the morning his goals for the day and the week. This makes it so much easier to plan your day around how you can help him rather than being surprised when he asks you if you can help with something.

Personally, I find it super helpful to have an idea of what Garrett’s going to want to work on each evening. If he’s going to want my help, I can try to structure my day so that I make sure that all of my other responsibilities are completed by the time he gets home. (Some days I have a ton to do and this doesn’t work, and he’s understanding of course, but it’s a good goal.)

Lastly, simply ask him what you can take off his plate.

3. Streamline his life.

One of the best ways to help your husband is by making his life simpler. Keep his clothes clean. Have dinner on the table when he gets home. Take care of the basic, everyday functions of the home so that he doesn’t have to think about them.

4. Get to know him.

Every husband is different. Some want to help decide what’s for dinner every night and some don’t care. Some want to be a part of aesthetic decisions around the home and some don’t want to think about it.

Get to know what decisions and questions your husband wants to be asked and what he would rather not think about. Once you know him well, you can easily decide what you can take off his plate without having to ask him about it every single time.

5. Talk about your role in each season.

Ask him how you can spend your time in order to be most helpful to him. Does he need a clean house? Help with his business? You to earn extra income? You to take on other tasks such as gardening, home maintenance, errands, etc.? Find out what matters to him. Talk together about how you can most effectively spend the time you have.

At the same time, keep in mind that you can’t do it all, especially in busy seasons. If you have a new baby, you’re probably not going to have a spotless house, 3 homemade meals per day, and all the errands done right away.

The best solution is to ask him what matters to him the most. Is it toys picked up off the floor? Specific foods in the fridge? The bathrooms clean? Laundry done right away? What makes him feel like the house is peaceful? It may not be the same things that you would choose! Focus on what makes his life easier and what makes him feel like he can relax when he gets home.

6. Make him your priority.

Marriage comes before kids. It comes before you going out with your friends or getting your nails done. Do everything you can to be available for your husband. Talk together about how this should look.

Of course, women have a lot of responsibilities too, and you can’t always drop everything at a moment’s notice. But make it a goal to prioritize him and being available for him.

7. Don’t complain.

One of the best ways to help your husband is simply to be cheerful.

Proverbs 27:15-16 – A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.

Yikes.

YOU can very directly impact the overall mood of your home by being cheerful. Don’t push your husband past his limits by constantly complaining to him. How would you feel if he complained about his job, the food you make, whatever, every time you were together? (And if he does, you can be the one to – by your actions – encourage a different atmosphere in your home.)

I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk to your husband about how you feel. Not saying this at all. Talk to each other! This is so important. But do it at the right time, calmly. During a stressful moment when your emotions are both running high is not really the best time to talk about it. Find a good time, approach the situation calmly and joyfully and HUMBLY, and figure out together how you can remedy the stress, anxiety, or unhappiness you’ve been feeling.

8. Don’t speak badly of him. Ever.

This one is so important. You are your husband’s teammate and best friend. Don’t tear him down by speaking badly of him, whether in front of him or behind his back.

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking to your mom, sister, or best friend. One reason for this is because, while you see all the good and bad, they only see or hear about small parts of your husband’s life and personality. They don’t get the full picture. Don’t put negative thoughts about your husband into anyone’s mind. Only speak well of him.

(Of course, if it’s a case of domestic violence, this definitely needs to be shared. Call someone you trust. Call the police.)